Every time I’m leveling up, every limiting belief wants to tear its ugly head.
Imposter syndrome has shown up big time.
Who do I think I am? Who am I to think I could make this work? Who would book me?
All this and so many more swirling, driving me crazy.
If I could map out my feelings in a day you’d think I was insane. I can go from “I’m awesome! Everyone loves my work!” to all the above questions, and even worse answers.
It makes all the bad habits creep back in, inviting all the coping mechanisms to show back up.
Negative self talk followed by victim hood are my go-to. No one will ever be as mean as the voice inside my head. Then once I’ve beat myself up, I’ll make excuses as to why I can’t achieve xyz.
I’ve been working on those habits so when life happens I can keep going without wasting weeks in this sick cycle. Instead facing what’s going, making a plan, and taking action.
Growth seasons are Hard seasons, you only move if you can weather your own storms, and start acting like the person on the next level.
Let me break that down.
What an interesting concept, Act as who I want to be.
When you want to run a marathon, you have to practice. Trying to run it the day of will end in defeat.
You have to train for life similar to how you would train for a marathon.
Train. Practice. Research. Mentor. Workshops. Books. Podcasts. All of these things are necessary for preparing for life in entrepreneurship.
Thinking of all aspects, asking yourself questions like “how do runners eat, sleep, train, dress, speak, prioritize? Who do they hang out with?
As a business owner, I have to consider all the same things. How do I want to show up? How do I want to act? How do I present myself? Who do I hang out with? What types of boundaries do I have? How do I treat my partner? Etc.
During a growth season these questions will arise, but think of it like this, to go somewhere you’ve never been you have to do things you’ve never done. Constantly reevaluating your why.
This year I’ve had amazing opportunities to work with several amazingly creative photographers on styled shoots. They’ve pushed my creativity so far, including how I feel about myself in front of the camera, representing my brand.
Take these photos for example. They weren’t supposed to happen.
Allison originally messaged me asking if I would participate in a giveaway. UM. DUH. She chose the couple. They rescheduled 3 times and ended up cancelling 2 days before the shoot.
I had already purchased the flower, there was no going back for me. Allison offered to still shoot with a different theme in mind. Motherhood. I agreed and asked if I could have some shots of myself with the bouquet. She happily agreed.
This was the beginning of wild flower season so we drove out toward Porterville on HWY 65. Half was there we found our spot.
This is Allisons sweater. I did my own hair and make up.
Allison styled the shoot in a matter of hours.
Lindsay did her own and Devyn’s make up. They each did their own hair.
The white shirt & sheet is from target.
Trust me, visions can be made on a budget!
Just 30 minutes before these photos of me I had seen the beautiful confident proud mamas strip down and work it with a smile! What was I so afraid of? Ok, being on a busy HWY in a thong and sweater is scary and uncomfortable, but in reality I’ll never see those strangers again, and this opportunity is too good to pass up.
These shots turned out amazing. I mean AMAZING! Those mamas showed me a whole new side of confidence and strength. They embraced motherhood with such grace. I admire them so much as women.
This experience allowed me to over come a limiting belief over what I can do and how I represent my brand. It had me adapt and gain confidence in a different way with a new appreciation for our bodies & what they can do.
Bouquet Breakdown: White hydrangea, white lisanthus, cream/antique lisanthus, white spray roses, white tibet rose, combo rose, curly willow, bleached dried fox tails, and acacia.
Color palette: deep navy/blues, neutrals, with copper as accent.
Styled Shoot. Real Wedding. March 1st, 2019.
Location Moonstone Beach, Cambria CA.
Bouquet Breakdown: toffee rose, peach Iceland poppy, white Tibet rose, cream lisianthus, Italian ruscus, pepper berry, burgundy Queen Anne’s lace, white straw flower, dried bleached amaranthus, dried bleached fern, teal color pops.
Bouquet Details: 3 ft wide, 1.5 ft deep, open/organic style, cris cross technique, time spent fabricating 3 hours.
Designers thoughts on Bouquet
This whole shoot was extremely fun and inspiring. Seeing every piece come to life was so satisfying.
I’m so happy with the decisions I made while designing the bouquet. The size, the ingredients, the colors. I wanted her to be a silent star. Working with neutrals has been such an amazing challenge. It has shown me how much we rely on color alone to make the piece inspiring to others. We don’t use our imaginations enough on other elements, like texture or size.
If I wanted her to stand out, I had to rethink the traditional size and shape. By bringing in light tones with darker greenery I was able to create depth. Utilizing the length of the flower I was able to make a hand held centerpiece, that included interesting spacing, allowing the eye to dance through the bouquet.
I wanted her to tell you about the vendors behind the creation. Because like neutrals we get lost in the background. Every now and then we deserve to be seen and recognized.
The Teepees hand made by Nanette Art & Design. These were so cool to work with! The challenge of getting the chicken wire to hold up was difficult, but the result was worth it!
Ingredients for Teepee Florals: Italian Ruscus, Pepper berry, tibet white rose, dried bleached amaranthus, dried bleached fern, dried pompous grass, & teal color pops mix matched between the seven. The sweetheart table had a centerpiece adorned on top with the toffee rose included.
The tables were hand made special for this event. Kept natural to compliment the environment and theme.
The centerpieces were kept minimal and simple to not take away from all the other amazing elements of this event! They included: toffee rose, white Tibet rose, cream lisanthus, & thistle surrounded by smilax held by antique vessels provided by Embellish Vintage Rentals. Complimented by Macrame navy chargers hand made by Roots Co Macrame, navy goblets, and candles.
I believe I achieved all of this and more. It has been a dream to do this work beside these amazing lovely talented women.
My hope is that everyone who views these photos feels the true intention behind them and that real people did everything they could to make this happen.
Thanks for joining me on this forever pivoting and evolving adventure!
Mission: To Create Unique and Interactive Experiences through Flowers!
I don’t want to sell you flowers for a wedding.
I want to design an EXPERIENCE around YOUR Love Story.
I would like you to sit still.
Really THINK/ENVISION your life.
Think about the IMPACT.
You will (hopefully) only be doing this once, make the VERY most of it!
Allow me to lead you through my vision of what a wedding represents!
The altar, arch, or arbor is where you are committing your lives as one; its sacred, emotional, and true. This is the time you’d want to make the backdrop as special as you two are, that reflects your relationship. When you look back or share your photos it has less meaning and pizzaz without a physical celebration behind you!
The head table represents the people who brought you together, supported you individually as well as coupled. They’ve helped mold who your relationship is; listened, cried, stayed up late, went out with, and supported you, essentially extended family. Accurately represent them with an interactive celebration of flowers!
The audience, the guests. The people you want to witness your forever life commitment, this life celebration of two becoming one. Most would clutter the table with all the things for decor, getting lost amongst the chaos. (have you ever been to a wedding that you couldn’t see the table you were sitting at? that chaos). This is when simplifying is more! Create more experience, interest, and impact with installations, interactive backdrops, or suspended centerpieces to WOW them with you union!
The reception, the PARTY, the reason everyone comes! I urge you to STOP worrying about what is accepted or normal and do whatever makes you come alive! You don’t have to ‘stick to tradition’ to be loved and welcomed as a couple. Do all the things that will light you up the rest of your life when you speak about your wedding. Again, this is only something you are doing once so PLEASE do it with NO REGRETS!